I'm back....in Therapy

Wow it's been so long! But here I am again. And yet again I don't know what to write about, and will force myself to write about something because the whole reason I created this blog is as a therapeutic outlet. OK so I guess I'll start by saying that I am back in therapy. Yep had to go back and thankfully found a wonderful new therapist just in time. HHmm now that I think about it, that was pretty cool timing. I think the reason I found i needed therapy again is because I have unresolved revolving issues. Stress seems to be a permanent fixture in my life and I have come to accept it, so now I have to make therapy a permanent fixture as well. Things that have been stressing me out lately are complicated and many. For one, my weight gain issues I feel have gotten out of control...I am now at my highest at 248lbs! That in itself should have been a wake up call, but it wasn't. My wake up call came a couple weeks ago when I awoke with an annoying pain on my upper right side. Turned out to be Gallstones. That wasn't the worst though, as I was sitting in my new doctors office, feeling horrible and scared I started realizing i had way too many issues to even discuss, let alone fix during that doctor visit. So I did what any other normal person would do? I had an anxiety attack! So that's when I found my new therapist and a nutrition educator too. I decided I would take all the help I could get. So now again I have a place, person and time to spill guts out at!! I can tell him about my hardships as a mother and how much I suffered when my oldest decided to move out to live with her lazy boyfriend, or about how I decided after almost 19 yrs of marriage to end it and live separated but under the same roof with my husband because he called me a CERDA on May 18Th 2011, or about how stuck I feel with my weight that not even my kids are motivation enough for me to lose, how stuck I feel about not having a career or an education I can be proud of and of when I remount to my horrible childhood, back when I was being used as a sex toy by the devil himself! Oh yeah I'll have lots to unload on the poor guy, guess I shouldn't have shut down for so long or held stuff in for so long. All of that pent up anger and stress deteriorated my physical health to the point where I am now obese, anemic and I now have gallstones. I gotta say all of the above mentioned worked very well as a huge wake up call and I have made good changes since then. I am now on the right path, have made changes in my diet and eating habits, have started therapy so I can get unstuck and started getting help from a nutrition educator because I have this new found love for myself and life in some way....because I love my girls and want to be here for them and because I want to set a good example for them. That's all for now...next I'll be writing of how this new lifestyle I've started is going...so till next time.